In the middle of my first term at FIU, I felt that something was wrong with me. I was lazy to do anything, could not eat, sleep and study. I didn’t want to share my feelings, even with myself, I couldn’t accept it, but deeper inside I knew what was going on with me. That was depression. Depression- one of the most frequent diseases in the world, and I believe, one of the most unexplored ones. A lot of scientists, doctors, and psychologies talk about this illness more and more often, some of them have different suggestions to help patients to go through and win the battle with the illness. But there is almost nobody who can say for sure, where depression starts from and what are its causes.
As most of the people, who, unfortunately, faced with this problem, I wanted to know how to struggle and get rid of depression. I looked at different sources but nothing really helped me, and then I stumbled upon an interesting video from one popular Russian psychologist- Veronica Stepanova, that helped me fight with depression. However, there were no suggestions or any special treatment, the cure started from the root, from the real reason for my depression. “Most of the people want and like to be in depression.”- she said, I didn’t believe it first, but let’s look at that statement closure and maybe you will see yourself in that, as well as I did a couple of months ago.
First, I want you to understand that sometimes it is difficult to accept the thoughts that you want to or like to hurt yourself. Veronica Stepanova said that “this is human nature to make everything with the easiest and fastest way, however, the greatest things were done while the greatest misery. And depression is one of an example of it.” Please, make sure, that psychologist won’t talk about long-term depression or the depression caused by pills chemical affect. She will talk about recent, fast depression started after the conflicts between one or more people.
Mostly, people want to be depressed to show their misery to others, she believes. It is the fact, mostly we feel bad after the conflict. Depression is a great way for others to see how bad you feel, so they will be guilty about it. “See, what you have done to me… this is your fault”, a typical inner monolog of depressed one. An interesting fact, the one who will show his depression first, will be automatically considered as an innocent (Stepanova, 5:03). Don’t see yourself at that point? Let’s look at more evidence.
Your depressed feeling is concession because of your laziness, says the author, Hedgepom, from psychological magazine OneDio. Smoke cigarettes more, drink alcohol, eat greasy food, that you did not eat before, oversleep, stop treating yourself, careless of the way you look (Hedgepom). Some people, for sure, will say that this is the main factor of depression, and they won’t be wrong. But if you look at it from a different perspective, you may see that it can be the way you want to take pity for yourself. “I feel so bad that I don’t want to take a shower today. I feel that upset, so I have no power to cook today, I will eat the burger. I am so depressed to go to work.” In other words, sometimes, especially, if you live a life with strict rules you can make yourself depressed to give yourself a moment to stop follow rules and relax from your regular life (Hedgepom). The author, Hedgepom, likes to call it a “crisis”. When everything you regularly do is too boring, so you get upset about your life overall.
An interesting hypothesis is that depressed people may have a specific choice is food. This is the conclusion made by statisticians of OneDio. “People with deep depression don’t want to share their feelings and try to avoid alcohol, so it won’t untie their tongue”, on the other hands, “fast depressed people like to overdrink, so it is easier to them to express the way they feel (OneDio).” Moreover, deeply depressed people like to punish themselves by lack of food, and fast depression patients like to overeat more. So, this is another evidence to support those people with after conflict depression who like to behave more demonstrative and pity themselves in different ways.
But not all of us may accept this claim, and some scientists say that depression, in all of its display, is a real disease that should be cured with medications. As evidence, the scientific group from King’s College of London had the hypothesis that depression is a hereditary disease, strongly connected with specific gen region, called 5-HHT. This part of the human genome affects the functionality of serotonin hormone expression. Serotonin- the “happiness” hormone. If a person has with region one or two times in his genome, then he is likely to have chronic depression (Rus.Delfi). By this, we can conclude, that people have no effect on their depressive behaviour and it is no more than just a natural disease, happening by biological lottery.
To conclude, I believe that after this text you may see your depressed condition not that radically, and maybe the real cause hides in your mind. I hope that this will help some of you get rid of depression as it helped me once. I understood that I was the only one who or what made me feel this way, I wanted to show how bad I feel to people I had the conflict with, and pieces of knowledge about it helped me to survive from depression. One African proverb said: “when there is no enemy within, the enemies outside cannot hurt you.” So, look at yourself first, be honest with yourself and maybe you will see more than you expected.
Reference page
“Depression- hereditary disease.”, rus.delfi.lv, 12 May 2005, https://rus.delfi.lv/archive/depressiya-nasledstvennoe-zabolevanie.d?id=11176776&all=true
Hedgepom, “11 habits of people with hidden depression”, onedio.ru, 10 October 2016, https://onedio.ru/news/11-privychek-lyudej-so-skrytoj-depressiej-10511
Veronika Stepanova. “Депрессия! / Любовь к депрессии / Психотерапия депрессивных состояний.” YouTube, 07 July 2017, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yFUeuu5OrCA.
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